Don't Mind Me - Extracts from Judith Haire's Book
The phone rang and I screamed. I was filled with terror. My heart began to pound and I started to shake. In my confused mind I had become the deaf dumb and blind boy in the film “Tommy”, a film that had captivated me many years before. I moved my limbs in a stilted and robotic way. I was no longer myself. I was in a different world, the world of psychosis. I was trapped and could not find my way out.
It was l993 and I was thirty-seven. I was entering a severe psychotic episode and this was to change my life forever. But I need to take you back to my beginnings and describe how my life unfolded and how the many traumatic events which befell me made this terrifying illness almost inevitable.
All these things were made more difficult as I was in the company of people often more ill than I was which added to my sense of persecution and fear. For weeks I was too scared to go into the psychiatrist’s office and would only go to the door, or sit on the chair with him for a few seconds before leaving in a state of terror. I could not verbalise what was wrong. I was puzzling and puzzling to understand what was happening to me.
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